i come from a family of giants, but im 5′1″. seriously, my dad is 6′4″, my little brother 6′3″, and my mom 6′ evn. but i have a story for wy im so short.
bcuz i kno you’re all burning to hear me elaborate: i will. im not religious, but i used to be. and wen i was going through puberty, i legit prayed to god for big titties. fast forward a year, my prayers were answered! unfortunately tho, i forgot to ask god for the rest of me to grow!
my beebops grew to be whut is either a 28C or 32DD (bra sizes are stupidly controversially, but point is: they niiiice). But i didn’t grow an inch in height. Not evn a fraction of an inch. God pulled some dickass genie move and gave me EXACTLY whut i asked for and that’s wy im so short.
holy shit a photo my dad took in our kitchen has resurfaced on my tumblr dash o_o
SO, THE BACKSTORY: Mom works at a grocery store, and they had a crazy good deal on lobsters one day (an overstock IIRC), so mom got two bargain lobsters for dad to cook up for dinner. But dad, as a wacky nature photographer on deviantArt, decided to have some fun. He removed the elastic bands from the lobsters, armed them with butter knives, and set them on the kitchen floor in a BATTLE TO THE DEATH. Then took photos and posted the best one for internet fame points. No Photoshop was used!
However, dad doesn’t understand the modern internet meme, and would appreciate being credited for his work.
